“ Au Pair ” literally translates to “at par” or “equal to”. In our case, it means being equal to the family that we are matched with. Being treated as a member of the family, whether we take the older sibling or the “fun” aunt role, it means to be considered one of the family.
When the Au pair concept is taken seriously by your host family, it is the best feeling in the world. When your house family doesn’t understand this concept, it can feel not so nice.
One of the make or break factors of this feeling comes when the line between Au Pair and House-keeper is crossed. This line is a fine one since duties for Au Pair’s vary per household. Each time I Au Paired, my only requirements were taking care of the kids (if you are running out of ideas, here are some tips & tricks),, cooking their lunch and making sure they cleaned up after themselves. However, I’ve known some who needed to take care of the kids, do the washing for the whole house, iron, sweep, dust, mop, vacuum and then some.
The real question to ask is, when is it too much? When are you doing more than is required of you?
There is no real answer, but there are red flags to look out for.
Are you working more than 36-40 hours a week?
Typically, just like any other job, you will work 40 hours a week max. Again, depending on the careers of the family and what is decided upon when you first start, this may vary. However, if you start to see your hours increasing each week, it may be time to have a chat with your house parents.
Are you doing more cleaning daily than you would normally in your own house?
Even if you don’t like cleaning too much, everyone has a standard on how clean they like to keep their house. Tidying up comes with the role of an Au Pair since you are dealing with little ones all day. They are bound to bring a tornado of toys and mess wherever they go. Once your duties reach beyond that, however, that is where your feelers need to be out making sure you aren’t going over your job description.
Sweeping and mopping seem normal to me, however, doing laundry for the whole entire house or having a cleaning schedule is not acceptable. My rule of thumb is, if they wouldn’t ask their family members to do it, you shouldn’t be doing it either.
Does it seem like you are doing more chores than minding the children?
Children are the entire reason why our role exists. It’s key to remember, you are not living with the family just to live in a random city and do a stranger’s chores, you are there to take care of the children. Once you start moving away from that being your main goal, it’s time to go over your daily schedule with your house parents and chat about what it should actually look like.
Again, all of the answers to these questions will vary by Au Pair and what your initial agreement is with your host family. Sometimes if the kids are older, you will focus more on chores during the day since they aren’t in need of your attention constantly.
It’s important to remember that if you feel comfortable and safe, you are doing great! There is no set in stone required tasks of an Au Pair besides minding the children and because of that, it is a beautiful job and experience to have (Like the one I had).
What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Have you felt like this before? Let me know. Reach out either on Instagram to @aupair_life or @eazycitygoabroad and give me your thoughts. I’ll be waiting!
